28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth 
his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: Ephesians 5:28-29 (New King James Version)
Recovering my marriage before or after divorce
If you read the first blog Divorce? Recover my marriage, in this blog I will be answering the question, How God restored my marriage?
If both have given a new beginning to the relationship, then evaluate each practical advice and begin to apply them in your life. However, if you think it’s too late since your partner has remarried someone else, it’s not too late, do not make the same mistakes again with your next partner.
Through the divorce stage, I attended marriage counseling (Christian counselors) and with the help of God I applied the advice of my counselor to restore my marriage. What was the first thing I had to do to get my marriage back? I had to leave my pride and stop saying that he was the one who left the house. It was time to stand up and fight for my marriage.
I hope that the following practical and personal advice, you can evaluate each stage of your marriage and / or couple relationship to repair the crack in time that may impact later your married life.
Some practical and personal tips that helped me to recover my marriage were the following:
a. Communication is critical
I understood that if I did not speak, I would detonated. Well, I decided to leave aside the love words (sometimes we think that with “yes, daddy”, “yes, mommy” “yes, my love” is all right and it is not) and that is why it is important to talk with your partner. I told him how I felt and what bothered me, also he did the same, we talked about it.
It is important to talk and talk before everything goes out of control. It is critical to put on the table everything what we like and dislike. Moreover, it is important to have the solution to avoid discussing the same thing again.
b. Listen
One of the keys of marriage is to listen. It’s not just saying “yes mommy”, “yes, daddy”, “yes, my love”. It is paying attention and giving a word of comfort and support. It is not criticizing or saying where we failed, it is knowing that your partner has your back. Simply, listen. It is not the time to blame each other. Remember, we are both responsible.
c. Teamwork
We both worked, and I did all the household responsibilities plus the cooking. All the time, I felt asphyxiated and without time. I got upset again. Oh no! Wait, you have to talk again. I said: “Look, honey, I know you want to go out and have fun, but if you help me, we can both move forward and enjoy more. What do you think?” He started helping me with household chores, sweeping, mapping, washing clothes and even learned to cook (better than me).
Once, both are working as a team, both with household chores, children and family, work and others, then you will have enough time to share together and have time for intimacy.
d. Caring for each other
I remember one day, I got sick that I could not stand by myself. My husband helped me in everything, even to take a bath and get dressed. When you love, you are present in the difficult moment and in the illness. I realized there, in the illness, that he felt a special love towards my person as if he was himself.
In the disease or illness, it is not time to run away, it is time to be present in your partner’s life.
e. Finance
In the first years of marriage, since each one worked, the bank accounts were individualized. Now, I recognize that it must be mutual. I remember, as I was the one with the highest salary, I paid the big expenses such as house, car and others. On the other hand, my husband paid for his car, and the utilities of the house and grocery. MMM…This is not so healthy. Moreover, there are couples who hide what they earn from their respective partners and for that reason one of them comes out overloaded.
Therefore, it is essential that both wages should be at the table, ALL. Both wages should be put together to pay for everything and then divide it equally. Hence, your partner will not be left with nothing or feel underrated (inferior) or without money. (Note: Both can have separate bank accounts, but always remembering this new concept, to put everything together and divide equal). One of you is wiser to administer, so leave the administration to your partner who is wiser in finances and savings.
I discovered this later, after seeing how my husband with so little he earned, he had more. Then, I gave myself the opportunity that he will manage my debts and money. It was in this way that today, I do not have debts.
The next blog, I will continue talking about more practical and personal advice that helped me to recover my marriage. Hope that you can apply to restore your marriage and / or continue your life as a couple.
Prayer: Open your heart
Lord Jesus, we are before your presence asking for forgiveness and above all ask for wisdom. Wisdom to continue growing and to continue loving each other, as a couple for life. Sometimes in our walk, it has not been easy. We have suffered deceptions, disappointments, frustrations and so much pain that it has become difficult for us to forgive and let it go. We ask you to help us continue to love each other and that the flame (fire) of love that one day we had can ignite more than ever. Therefore, this new flame (fire) burns EVERYTHING that has happened to us. Allow us Lord that you live in our home and especially in the relationship. Lord Jesus, help us to keep the flame of love always burning. Amen
A friendly advice
Sometimes we ask ourselves, Lord why me? It is not easy if your husband and / or wife cheated on you and even possibly have a child in that relationship. It’s painful, I know. But, everything has a solution. Forgive, it is the first thing to do. Discuss how to handle this situation and not go back. Many times, life takes us through mysterious paths that we do not understand. On the other hand, God will help us heal our wounds. Seek help from a professional. Talk about it and give a new opportunity to your relationship.
It is not just giving yourself the opportunity, but talking in order to NOT repeat again the same mistakes. Sometimes you have to face your enemy (lover, drugs, bad habits, and / or others). We cannot hide the error or mistakes with one hand. You are not the first nor the last who go through situations like that. However, there are few who give themselves the opportunity, and those few are now happier and love each other more than ever.
What do you expect of your relationship? Starting again is not easy, but then you will see how fabulous and extraordinary your relationship will be, I know what I am telling you.